The nurse wanted me to go to the hospital.
I refused.
Instead, I sat in my chambers with an ice pack against my cheek while Deputy Chief Brooks stood near my desk looking deeply uncomfortable.
Walter hovered beside the door.
“You should get examined,” he said again.
“I will.”
“When?”
“When we finish this conversation.”
Brooks cleared his throat.
“Judge Caldwell, Officer Mercer has been placed on administrative leave.”
“With pay?”
He hesitated.
“Yes.”
I lowered the ice pack.
Walter muttered something under his breath.
Brooks continued quickly.
“That’s standard procedure pending investigation.”
“I understand procedure.”
That made him quiet.
I had spent most of my career defending the importance of due process.
Even now, I intended to follow it.
But due process did not mean pretending I had not watched an officer abuse his authority.
“What do we know about him?”
Brooks opened a folder.
“Grant Mercer. Eleven years with the department. Assigned to courthouse security eighteen months ago.”
“Complaints?”
Another hesitation.
My stomach tightened.
“How many?”
“Formal complaints?”
“Yes.”
“Seven.”
Walter straightened.
“Seven?”
Brooks looked embarrassed.
“Most were determined to be unsubstantiated.”
“What were the allegations?”
“Excessive force. Verbal intimidation. Improper detention.”
I stared at him.
All three had happened to me within minutes.
“And informal complaints?”
Brooks looked toward the window.
“More.”
“How many?”
“I don’t have the exact number.”
“That means enough that you should.”
Silence.
I put the ice pack on my desk.
“Bring me everything.”
Brooks stiffened.
“Your Honor, there may be confidentiality restrictions.”
“I am not asking you to violate them. I am asking you to preserve every record immediately.”
“Of course.”
“And notify internal affairs.”
“Already done.”
“District attorney?”
His eyes shifted.
“They’ve been informed.”
Walter crossed his arms.
“Funny how fast everybody moves when it happens to a judge.”
The words hit the room like a dropped weight.
Brooks looked at him.
Walter did not apologize.
Neither did I.
Because he was right.
If Mercer had struck Maya Lewis instead of me, would he already have surrendered his badge?
Would investigators be gathering footage?
Would commanders be standing in her room promising accountability?
Or would she be sitting in a holding cell charged with resisting arrest?
My phone rang.
My assistant, Elena, picked up outside.
A moment later, she knocked.
“Judge Caldwell?”
“Yes?”
“Chief Judge Patterson is here.”
Of course he was.
Richard Patterson entered with the courthouse administrator behind him.
He looked at my face and winced.
“Josephine.”
“I’m all right.”
“This is a disaster.”
Not, Are you hurt?
Not, What happened?
A disaster.
I knew Richard well enough to notice immediately.
“For whom?”
He paused.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I hope not.”
He sat across from me.
“We need to handle this carefully.”
Those words made me colder than the ice pack.
“What does carefully mean?”
“The video is already online.”
I hadn’t known that.
“How?”
“The witness posted it.”
Brooks pulled out his phone.
“It’s spreading quickly.”
Richard rubbed his forehead.
“We have reporters downstairs.”
“What exactly do you want from me?”
“Nobody is asking anything unreasonable.”
Walter gave a quiet scoff.
Richard ignored him.
“We’re asking you not to make public statements until the department completes its review.”
“I had no intention of holding a press conference.”
“Good.”
“But I will not participate in burying this.”
His expression changed.
“No one said bury.”
“You came into my chambers less than an hour after I was asNextlted and your first concern was controlling statements.”
“That’s unfair.”
“Is it?”
Richard leaned forward.
“Josephine, there are serious institutional consequences here.”
I laughed once.
It hurt my lip.
“So that’s the problem.”
“No.”
“The institution.”
“The integrity of the courthouse matters.”
“Yes, it does.”
I stood.
“And that is precisely why this cannot disappear.”
Richard followed me with his eyes.
“You’re emotionally involved.”
For the first time since the slap, anger surged through me.
“I was struck in the face.”
“I understand.”
“No, Richard. You understand intellectually. There is a difference.”
His mouth tightened.
“This could compromise your ability to preside over certain matters.”
“I agree.”
That surprised him.
“I will recuse myself from anything involving Mercer.”
He relaxed slightly.
“But I will not recuse myself from asking why seven formal complaints apparently changed nothing.”
Brooks looked down.
Richard became silent.
A knock sounded.
Elena opened the door.
“There’s a woman asking to speak with you.”
“Who?”
Her expression was strange.
“Maya Lewis.”
Everyone in the room turned.
“The defendant?” Brooks asked.
“Yes.”
Richard immediately stood.
“Absolutely not.”
I looked at him.
“Why?”
“She has a pending matter.”
“Not before me.”
“She shouldn’t be in your chambers.”
I considered that.
He was right about one thing.
I could not discuss her case.
But something in Elena’s face told me this was about something else.
“Ask her whether she has counsel with her.”
“She does.”
“Bring them both in.”
Richard sighed.
“Josephine.”
“You can leave if you’re uncomfortable.”
He did.
Brooks left with him.
Walter remained.
A minute later, Maya Lewis entered.
I understood the mistake immediately.
We did have similarities.
Same approximate age.
Same complexion.
Similar build.
But nobody looking carefully would confuse us.
Maya’s attorney came beside her.
Maya looked at the bruise forming on my cheek.
Tears filled her eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
I frowned.
“You have nothing to apologize for.”
“He was waiting for me.”
My stomach dropped.
“What?”
“Officer Mercer.”
Her attorney touched her arm.
“Maya, remember what we discussed.”
“I know.”
She looked at me.
“He knew I had court this morning.”
I stayed silent.
“He arrested me six months ago.”
My heartbeat slowed.
“He said I resisted too.”
Walter’s face changed.
Maya swallowed.
“I filed a complaint.”
My fingers tightened around the edge of my desk.
“One of the seven?”
Her attorney nodded.
Maya continued.
“They said there wasn’t enough evidence.”
“What happened?”
“He shoved me against his patrol car.”
Her voice trembled.
“I had bruises all over my ribs.”
I felt cold.
“He told them I attacked him first.”
“Did you?”
“No.”
She wiped her cheek.
“Nobody believed me.”
The room seemed smaller.
Then her attorney placed a folder on my desk.
“We weren’t sure whether to bring this.”
I did not touch it.
“What is it?”
“Names.”
“Whose?”
“Other people who say Officer Mercer did similar things.”
Walter slowly closed the door.
I looked down at the folder.
There were more than twenty names.
And suddenly seven complaints did not seem like the real number at all.